As our S/W industry is growing up and we all are doing a good job and hat is in less cost. Some day every work from west will be done by people sitting here. I read a joke on that so quickly cooked up
with a story and modified from the joke. Let us assume we got a client has 2 cows and u need to milk them.
This work is done by 4 people in US. 2 people in morning and 2 in evening. and another 2 people are taking care of the quality of the milk and observing these to people( management) and 2 people for security and staff..
so each charges 5000 US $ a month and for these 8 people company needs to have infrastructure, health insurance etc….so that cost around 1000 US $ per person a month
so net milking cost is 48000 US $ a month that is 300 US $ per hour.
Indian and US IT companies now starts bidding for this project. US company name it A, will say the will do the work @ 300 $ per hr but at better quality and always on time.
Another US company having cost effective centre in India will say, They will do the work at 250 $ per hr and with better quality( in that 200 $ will be the share of people who are at onsite and 50 $ will be given to poor Indian at offshore).
A Indian company will come up and start negotiation from 200 $ per hr and client finally made them agree at 100 US $ per hr.
Now Indian company has to make money…so the will say the will introduce six sigma process. Its a CMMI level 5 company so everything will be properly documented.
So the will make a team with a manager and team lead and work will be started.
1 . First prepare a document when to milk them (Project kick off) .Understand the process properly or if possible try to have KT( Knowledge transfer) from previous work force.
2 . Prepare a document how long you have to milk them (Project plan).Arrange a team meeting, ask everyone for suggestion and never listen to them and ultimately ask everyone to approve the plan.
3 . Then prepare how to milk them (Design).Send it for review. Log all review defects. Do an defect analysis and make a ‘Pareto’ chart to find out why the defects are coming.
4 . Then prepare what other accessories are needed to milk them (Framework).Try to find out if we have done same kind of project before and compare with that.
5 . Then prepare a 2 dummy cows (sort of toy cows) and show to client the way in which u will milk them (UI Mockups & POC)
6 . If client is not satisfied then r -do from step 2
7 You actually start milking them and find that there are few problem with accessories. (Change framework)
8 . Redo step 4 and repeat it until your Business Analysts and quality people satisfied. Now your transition part is over.
9 . At last milk them and send it to onsite( few people who get a chance to sit with customer and think that they are superior in knowledge). (Coding over)
10. Make sure that cow milks properly ( Testing). Sometimes try to them understand that u have code only to milk cow. Do not test about cows walking, sleeping it does not affect that at all.( unnecessary integrated testing )
11. Onsite reports that it is not milking there. Arrange a conference call with them at midnight because they can not stay late in office, their personal life is getting affected. So u have to compromise and come at midnight.
12. You break your head and find that onsite is trying to milk from bulls. But still those fandoooo people will not agree because its a same species so it should apply on them also.
13. At last onsite milk them and send to client (Testing)
14. Client says the quality of milk is not good. (User Acceptance Test)
15. Offsite then slogs and improves the quality of milk by giving them proper food. An now makes a supplementary document how feed a cow for a good quality milk.
16. Now the client says that the quality is good but its milking at slow rate (performance issue)
17. Again you slog and make the understand that rate of milking is nothing to do with cow but its a performance of the worker who is milking. Send someone on onsite to show with good performance.
18. Client is happy???. Your delivery manager and marketing people saw a opportunity and ask for a contract maintenance of this project also. But client did not agree
By this time both the Cows aged and cant milk. (The software got old and get ready for next release repeat from step 1) !!!!!
