Why this elite group of IT/ITES is not a part of mainstream Indian

These days everyone is talking about boom with Indian economy in every sector. I agree wwith media when I think from our prospective that is
young people from lower middle cast background. These days getting a job is not as tough as it was earlier.Gone are the days when parents were so much worried about
the jobs of there son or daughter and want them to apply for government job. Now evryone wants in IT/ITes sector and few people who are not satisfied with these sectors and want to make money
again head towards financial sector.But still why is not condition on political level or beauracracy is improved.Its getting worse and worse day by day.
When I tried to find answers for these quetion I got few pionts.Lets discuss those points.

   Go to any major IT hub, Bangalore, Hyderabad, Chennai, Pune or NCR every where u will be frustrated to see the crowd. For Bangalore people used to say a proverb that is ” if you will throw a stone in
air in Bangalore either it will hit a dog or a software engg.”.So if we have so many educated, intercultural, professional bla bla bla blal…. kind of people in these city den why not there conditions are improved.
Reason 1 :- These people are not politician’s vote bank. And why these people are not vote bank…whets wrong with them…
                             1(a) :- these people never had a voter card. Most of the people working in these cities moved away from their homes. and they don’t have a voter card. Reason no body bothers to give them voter card.
                                        They are also no so much interested to take pain for “just a voter card”.
Reason 2 :- As I am one of the young man from this elite group so I can understand very well what our thought are. We never worried about anything just one to live “bindas” life.
                    Little bit like high society or say western. Don’t want anybody to interrupt us. We got good money in form of our salary at such age so its little difficult to digest that.
                    If anything happens, we just throw money don’t want to take pain…or thinking about country, moral, ethics that is all left when we are drunked and sitting with our friends.
                    At that moments everybody will give you so much ideas and inputs, you will that these people can change the fate of country.
Why I am so much emphasizing on this group because if these people mingle with main stream den we can reduce so many “chutiyapas” happening in India. We are becoming the largest group
or most important vote bank. Why don’t we just utilize this.  

kuch ajeeb sa hai

I m getting married on 29th of April, just before that I am writting this poem to express myself to my love - Vini. 

aaj sham-o-shahar ka andaz kuch ajeeb sa hai
saja hai ye mandap,ye mahaul kuch ajeeb sa hai
Milte rahe doston se hazaro bar magar
aaj sabki nazar me sawal kuch ajeeb sa hai
sab poochte hai,kaisa lag raha hai mujhe
main sharma ke sochta hoon kaise kahun
Mere dil me ye khushi ka khumar ajeeb sa hai
tujhse milne ki betabi badti hai dil me
tere pass aane ka entzar kuch ajeeb sa hai
hazar bar chhua hoga maine tujhe,
hath badhata hoon, sans fulti hai meri
dil jor se dadka,ye ghabrat kuch ajeeb sa hai
tu meri hai ye janta tha main
par aaj tujhe pane ka ehsas ajeeb sa hai
rista ye pyar ka humara bahut purana hai
aaj apne riste ka ye ehsash ajeeb sa hai
sab aaye hai shadi me, bheed hai bahut
nazar bacha ke tujhe dekhna ajeeb sa hai
ye jo meri ankhain tujhse kah rahin hain
aaj se main sirf tera or tera rahunga
ye samarpan ka khayal kuch ajeeb sa hai
har bandhan se bhagata raha hoon main ab tak
dil me shadi ke bandhan ka khayal ajeeb sa hai
na jane kya badal gaya pal bhar me
aaj duniya dekhne ka najariya kuch ajeeb sa hai

mera katil to mera apna tha

zahar deta jo wo apne hathon se to pahchana jata,
par mera katil to mera apna tha
katal mujhe karna tha unko, bina rushvayi ke
elzam se mere khoon ke unko bachna tha
Mera katal aise mere yar ne kiya
main entzar me leta dum todta raha
unhone yun kiya ki waqt pe dawa na diya………

**********************************************

  Khamoshiyan teri mujh se baate karti hain
   Meri har aah, har dard samajhti hain
   Pata hai majbur hai tu bhi aur me bhi
   Phir bhi aankhe tere didar ko tarasti hain……..

jahan main ye kambakth mohabbat na hoti !!!!

jahan main ye kambakth
mohabbat na hoti

Shararat na hoti
Shikayat na hoti
 
Nayno main kisi ke
nazakat na hoti
 
na hoti bekarari
na hote hum tanha
 
jo jahan main kambakht
ye mohabbat na hoti
 
na hote ye sapne
ye khwabon ki duniya
 
kisi ko chahat ki
tammanna na hoti
 
na julphon ki chaya
na phoolon ki khushboo
 
yaadon main unki
ye raatein na kat ti
 
jo na hoti mohabbat
ye aansoo na hote
 
dil bhi na khota
aaj tanha na hota
 
majnu si apni ye
halat na hoti
 
jo jahan main ye kambakth
mohabbat na hoti!!!!

Bus khawab bunta raha

I am sharing a poem which I wrote last night, when I got to realize somthing…….hope you will learn from it. 

aaj tak main baith ke bus khawab bunta raha.
kuch ke liye koshish ki or kuch ko niharta raha
Waqt yuhi chalta raha,Har sham bhi dhalti rahi.
Har shubah ke sath har ek Ashiyan banta raha.
mera nahin wo kisi or ka, main bus dekhta raha
Jaindagi me har ghadi bas manjilon ki chah thi
Karwan un manjilon ke khoj me badhta raha
sochta tha yash ka yash etna main falaunga
par kab din me dekhe hue sapne sach hua karte hain
main to bus khawabon me jia or sota raha
Tab hum jage  jab sunaya waqt ne yeh faisla
tum bus sochte rahe par main(waqt) nikalta raha

The man called boss

I have been hearing so many jokes about our boss like one famous series Dilbert Is they really so dumb? Everyone amongst us wants be a boss sooner or later den
why we hate that so much now. Is this a kind of jealousy or something else? Take a case of software industry as I m pretty familiar with.
We have team lead or project lead ( TL or PL )as our immediate boss. They assign work to us and provide feedback to hierarchy about us.
We always have conflict of interest with him. Sometimes he forces us to do something. He did not give us good hike.
These are the basic reason and he can not do anything to avoid this kind of conflict. He has to apply all means he knows to take best out of you.
There are several incident in my life that I felt my immediate boss doesn’t like him. No body has done anything wrong with me till now but still I can feel in his/her eyes. May be this is because of my attitude.
I hardly accept anyone’s supremacy on me. I want to do work when I like to do and the kind of work I like. I get fed up with same kind of work very soon. But I know I have to do the work what I am getting because I am
paid for that. So here comes the fundamental reason of conflict. But still I feel sympathy towards the man called boss as he has to tolerate hate in most of the peoples eyes. He will find easily few people who believes
in flattering but in today’s world specially in IT industry, Its very rare.

Because of these things even he do not work so much that earns revenue, he deserve to be boss and paid more den you.

CFA Vs CIIA

Confusion between CFAs ( ICFAI and CFAI ) fmade me to loose intrest in this course. I found one of the intresting and prestigious course CIIA from ACIIA, a swiss organization.Certified International Investment Analyst (CIIA) examinations, a financial analyst designation recognised mainly in Europe and Asia.
 CIIA has currently over 50,000 finance professionals and an internationally recognised advanced finance designation, much sought after in Europe,
 Australia and Asia. Its only other rival designation is the American CFA designation with over 60,000 charter holders and globally accepted.

 world of professional vocational training—where governments’ influence is at its weakest, and consumer demand is most focused. The Chartered Financial Analyst (CFA) qualification is roughly equivalent to
a specialised postgraduate finance degree, including a mixture of economics, ethics, law and accountancy.
AT FIRST glance, it doesn’t look that hard to become a chartered financial analyst. If you have a first degree and $2,500 to spare you can sign up to the programme
 run by the CFA Institute, an industry body based in America, do three exams and work for three years as an investment professional. There are no interviews,
entrance exams or aptitude tests.But there is a catch: the success rate is only 20%. Of those who sign on, 40% never show up for a single exam, while another 40%
fail an exam and don’t retake it successfully. This, says Bob Johnson, the programme’s managing director, is a natural consequence of the combination of rigorous
exams and low barriers to entry. He likens the CFA programme to an open golf tournament, which he prefers to the invitation-only kind, even though most of the
extra competitors will do poorly.It is much liked by employers in financial services. Whereas there are tens of thousands of finance degrees available around the
world, ranging from the excellent to the worthless, there is only one CFA, managed and examined by an American association of financial professionals, the CFA
Institute. It used to be just an American qualification but now it is recognized worldwide.

When my friend Ankit asked me about CFA, I wrote a mail to him about my confusion.I am putting that mail here so that So of my readers of blog can also know my view about that.
 I wrote the mail to Ankit :-
  
Hi Ankit,

I have all the material and one more think I will tell you its better you go for CIIA rather den CFA because of few reason  I felt, You can cross verify this :-

1. CFA by CFAI  US is a private body of professional and It doesn’t have any connection with universities or US Govt. although its very popular in industry and it demand is at peak
      now but in India as You know ICFAI has started offering CFA in late 80’s and in Feb both ICFAI and CFAI went to the court may be you know this but I will explain it little. CFA is trade mark of CFAI US as they claim so delhi high court has given and direction to ICFAI to stop using name CFA until the trade mark for CFAI is approved ( because that is still pending in India ).ICFAI again filled a case against CFAI that it does not have any rights to offer a education in India with prior permission from UGC and AICTE so court has given a notice to CFAI. Here my point is the whole thing is in a dispute and if you have top use CFA degree in India so I don’t know what is going to happen.If you have to work in US den go for it no problem.

2. AS in India industry the weight both the CFA as same but in US ICFAI is nothing.But course wise and reputation wise CFAI CFA is more valuable.
 
3. CFAI lost its case in UK and now CFA is no more offer by it in UK.

 Why I am suggesting you CIIA ( Certified International Investment Analyst ) because this course is offer by ACIIA, switzerland, which is world wide recognized and even taken as equivalent to PG Diploma by not only by Industries but also by universities.It is associated with all the regional body of most of the counties in Europe, asia,china,australia ( means almost whole world except US ).But its very tough as compared to CFA I guess that’s why not so much popular in India,Unlike CFA it has through exams with subjective kind of question not multiple.It has tow level of exam basically, one is National and other is international so you will be expertise in everything in international market.

Its my personal veiw check with some one who is already in the field or make your on research and analysis and come up with some solution.

I am sending you some links so that you can download videos and books for CFA.

http://rapidshare.com/files/18719522/L1-2007_Book_1.pdf
http://rapidshare.com/files/18719068/L1-2007_Book_2.pdf
 http://rapidshare.com/files/18719246/L1-2007_Book_3.pdf
 http://rapidshare.com/files/18719041/L1-2007_Book_4.pdf
 http://rapidshare.com/files/18719288/L1-2007_Book_5.pdf
http://rapidshare.com/files/18718925/L1-2007_Book_6.pdf

Thanks & Regards

Yashvir S Chauhan

Again  I wrote to him :-

Fouther more to omy mail I want to add the comparision of functioning and course of CIIA and CFA.

function of CIIA

1. Analysis & valuation of
equity
2. Analysis & valuation of fixed
income
3. Economics
4. Analysis & valuation of
derivatives
5. Portfolio management and
Performance Measurement
and Attribution
6. Ethics, law, taxation
7. Accounting and Financial
Statements Analysis
8. Corporate finance
and of CFA

1. financial statement analysis
2. macro- and micro-economics
3. quantitative methods of investment analysis
and management,
4. Analysis of Equity Investments
5. Corporate finance
6. Analysis of Debt Investments
7. Analysis of Derivatives
8. Analysis of Alternative Investments
9. Portfolio Management including Risk
Management, Performance Measurement
and Global Investment Performance
StandardsTM (GIPS)TM
10. The CFA INSTITUTE Code of Ethics and
Standards of Professional Conduct with
practical applications from an ethical,
organizational and compliance perspective

  So Let sdecide anytning by knowing what you need
Thanks & Regards

Yashvir S Chauhan

I don’t know what I am going to choose amongs these 3 but one thing for sure….I will not take any decision in hurry…for time being I am just giving exam for
Postgraduate Diploma in Financial advicing that altogther diffrent then bothe of these courses and offer by Indian Institute of Banking and Finance.

Mainframe Turns ‘43′

Known as drab-looking machines that sit in huge air-conditioned rooms, the IBM mainframe computer has been called the dinosaur of the technology world. About a decade ago, pundits predicted it would soon become extinct. But the machine, which companies all over the world have used to manage payroll and monitor expense accounts, and which enabled scientists to send the first men to the moon, is celebrating its 43rd birthday this week.
In a world dominated by personal computers, notebooks and cell phones, commemorating the birth of an aging technology in big boxes may not seem like a big deal. But the unveiling of the mainframe, also known as System/360, on April 7, 1964 was considered a major breakthrough in the technology and business worlds.
“This is the beginning of a new generation, not only of computers, but of their application in business, science and government,” then-IBM Chairman Thomas Watson Jr. said at the press conference introducing the machine. The term “mainframe” had been used by other technology companies to describe big computers. But with the introduction of the System/360, IBM essentially redefined the mainframe as a computer that allowed companies to perform multiple tasks at the same time on a single machine.
Before then, a user would have to schedule time on the company computer to do a specific task, whether to process payroll or analyze business expenses. Don Haderle recalled how it sometimes took a week for a computer at the New York Port Authority to analyze the flow of buses in and out of terminals. With the mainframe, the agency was able to do the task in a day, he said. “It’s like having a line in the bank and there’s only one teller,” said Haderle, who later joined IBM and is now vice president of database technology at the company’s Silicon Valley lab. “But with the mainframe, you had 10 tellers. The hardware cut our time in half.”
The mainframe was viewed as a big gamble by Big Blue, which invested $5 billion in the product — that’s $30 billion in today’s dollars, according to IBM. The company also hired 60,000 new employees to work on the new product. The company expanded its plant in San Jose where IBM made disk drives and storage controllers for mainframes. The investment paid off. The mainframe became Big Blue’s hottest product, as the company’s revenue jumped from $3.2 billion the year it was introduced to $7.5 billion in 1970.
Among the corporations that embraced the new technology were Bank of America and Time Life. The mainframe also helped NASA send the first astronauts to the moon, allowed the Social Security Administration to process millions of Medicare ID cards and enabled American Airlines to develop its online network for airline reservations.
But then came the PC revolution in the 1980s. Although the mainframe continued to be the centerpiece of corporate IT, more companies embraced a new system featuring smaller computers. Instead of big boxes in the back room, companies turned to servers that connected PCs in a network.
By the early 1990s, sales of mainframes, then IBM’s main product, were dropping dramatically in the face of stiff competition from rivals such as Sun Microsystems. “The company was hemorrhaging, and at the heart of it was the … mainframe,” former IBM Chief Executive Officer Lou Gerstner recalled in his book, “Who Says Elephants Can’t Dance?”
Mainframes came to be associated with tech’s old guard, symbolized by IBM’s well-groomed workers who wore suits and ties and sang corny company songs. On the other hand, the new guard, led by firms such as Apple and Sun, were run by young entrepreneurs who started their empires in garages, wore jeans and had long hair.
By then, many within IBM assumed the mainframe was on its way out and believed that the company should focus its energies in winning the war in the PC market. But Big Blue’s top brass, led by Gerstner, opted to stand by the mainframe.
The gamble paid off. IBM sold $4.2 billion worth of mainframes in 2003, up 6 percent from the previous year, according to International Data Corp. Rivals such as Amdahl, which is now part of Fujitsu Ltd., and Hitachi Data Systems got out of the mainframe market a few years ago leaving the arena to IBM. The market itself is expected to decline to about $3.3 billion by 2008, IDC analyst Steve Josselyn said.
But he added: “I certainly am not predicting the death of the mainframe. . . Even at $3 billion, it’s nothing to sneeze at. It is a considerable revenue stream for IBM.”
Doug Balog, an IBM vice president, noted that 70 percent of the world’s data are still housed in mainframe computers. And Josselyn said they are bound to stay there for a long time. The corporate world’s bid to cut costs was what ultimately helped save the mainframe, he added. IT networks based on servers and PCs required more staff and therefore was more expensive to operate than a centralized system, he said. “You need to throw more people at the problem,” he said.
The mainframe became a key component of Gerstner’s transformation of IBM during the 1990s. From a pure computer hardware company, it morphed into IT services giant selling software, hardware — including PCs, servers and mainframes — and, most important of all, helping companies set up and maintain their networks.
Recently, IBM underscored its confidence in the mainframe by unveiling a new line, called z990, with a catchy code-name: T-Rex.
Even IBM’s critics were impressed with the mainframe’s resilience as an entrenched technology.
“It is a dinosaur,” said Clark Masters, Sun’s executive vice president for enterprise systems products. “It just happens to be performing a role that customers are willing to pay for, not because they like it, but because they’re locked in.”
Bob Evans, a retired IBM executive who worked on the original mainframe, said he never bought into the dinosaur tag. “I didn’t believe it,” he said. “I thought it would last. And it did.”
The IBM mainframe:
Unveiled on April 7, 1964, by IBM Chairman Thomas Watson Jr., the mainframe, also known as System/360, enabled companies to do multiple tasks on a computer at the same time.
– Cost to develop: $5 billion ($30 billion in today’s dollars)
– Impact on IBM: Big Blue added 60,000 employees and five new major plants
– Speed of original mainframe: Up to 750,000 additions per second
– Memory: Up to 8 million characters or 8 MB. (An average laptop PC today has between 256 and 512 MB of memory.)
– Cost: Rented for $2,700 to $115,000 a month
– First customers: Bank of America, Time Life, Allstate, NASA Institute of Space Study

Few mails with strange subject

From last one month my mail id is flooded with few of the mails with the heading I need your help or reply.In some of the mails subject is You won the prize or you are lucky winner of lottery.
take one example, One mail I got was
————————————————————————————————————————————————-
DEAR SIR,
    
I AM MRS.MARY AMA PUJEH, THE WIFE OF FORMER TRANSPORT
MINISTER OF SIRRA LEONE MR.MOMOH PUJEH, WHO IS NOW IN
PRISON FOR SMUGGLING OF DIAMOND.BEFORE HIS ARREST
HE HAS GIVE ALL INFORMATIONS ABOUT THE SUM OF $8.5MILLION
UNITED STATES DOLLARS HE DEPOSITED IN SECURITY FINANCE COMPANY IN SOUTH AFRICA. 
    
I HAVE CALLED FOR THE MONEY,THE DIRECTOR OF THE SECURITY FINANCE COMPANY IN SOUTH AFRICA.ASKED ME TO GET SOME ONE AS MY PARTNER, THAT HE WILL HELP COLLECT THE MONEY CASH IN SOUTH AFRICA OR A NEAR BY COUNTRY AS MY PARTNERS ANY WHERE IN THE WORLD IT WAS IN THIS RESPECT I CONTACTED YOU FOR AN ASSISTANCE.
 
I WANT TO USE THIS MONEY TO START TRADING BUSINESS WITH YOU IN YOUR COUNTRY, TO HELP MY SELF AND MY FAMILY,SINCE THIS THE ONLY MONEY LIFT WITH US.ALL HIS ACCOUNT AND PROPERTIES HAS BEEN FROZEN BY THE GOVERNMENT.TO ASSIST ME I AM GOING TO GIVE YOU THE SUM OF 25% OF THE TOTAL SUM.PLEAS FOR MY SECURITY REASONS ONLY REPLY ON THIS CONTACT EMAIL:maryamapujeh@yahoo.com 
    
I AM WAITING FOR YOU REPLY SOON.
    
BEST REGARDS.

MRS.MARY AMA PUJEH
————————————————————————————————————————————————-

The National Lottery
PO Box 1010
Liverpool L70 1NL United Kingdom
Ref: UK/9420X/05
Batch: 074/05/ZY369

WINNING NOTIFICATION
===================
We happily announce to you the draw (#1147) of the UK NATIONAL LOTTERY,
online Sweepstakes International program held on Thursday 29th March
2007.Your e-mail address attached to ticket number: 56475600545188 with
Serial number 5368/02 drew the lucky numbers: 04 10 21 22 25 38
31(Bonus
ball) which subsequently won you the lottery in the 1st category i.e.
match
6 plus bonus.

You have therefore been approved to claim a total sum of £250,000.00
(two
hundred and fifty thousand  pound sterling) in cash credited to file
XYL
/26510460037/05 This is from a total cash prize of £1,000,000 (one
million
pounds sterlings) shared amongst the Three (4) lucky winners in this
category i.e. match 6 plus bonus.

please do provide with the following informations: And send to our
Fiduciary
Agent.

FULL NAME…
ADDRESS:…
SEX:…
AGE…
TEL…FAX….(If any)
COUNTRY….

To file for your claim, please contact your fiduciary agent immediately
via the email below.

UK NATIONAL LOTTERY FIDUCIARY AGENT
Name: Mr Paul David
Tel:+447014213139
Email:  infouklottery1@yahoo.co.uk

Remember to quote your reference information in all correspondence. You
are
to keep all lotto information away from the general public especially
your
reference and ticket numbers. (This is important as a case of double
claims
will not be entertained). Anybody under the age of 17 and members of
the
affiliate agencies are automatically not allowed to participate in this
program.

Cordially,
Ms.Candy  Mason
SIR GEORGE HARRIS

This message was sent using Dodo Webmail – www.dodo.com.au

————————————————————————————————

One thing I noticed in that these mails have yahoo id not the website they claim that belongs to them.One idea behind these kind of mail may be
that they want you to visit there website for popularity or increasing hits.Or another way may be they are just trying to do one fraud.
I am not able to understand that if these kinds of mail doesnot come under any kind of it crime ?

How to get a nice wife!!!

Yesterday I came across a good article about selecting a girl for marriage, here is the summmary from that.

How to get a nice wife!!! – Guide for all the bachelors and advice for all the married people

There are times in a person’s life when he needs to take crucial decisions on his own. Marriage is one of them. Believe me, the decision on whom to marry is the most important decision a person will make in his life. After marriage, your wife is the most important person in your life. She can make or break your life. The mere thought of this is very frightening.

Some of the questions that crop up are -

a.. What sort of a girl do I marry?
b.. Will she adjust in my family?
c.. How can I decide on a girl by just meeting her for a few times?
d.. When should I get married?
e.. This is my life. So, I should choose the girl I marry, but then what if I make a mistake? .. so on and so forth.

I will try to address these & many more questions in the following sections.

The Nine Rules of Arranged Marriage
Rule 1   –   Magic No. 26,27,28

In an ideal scenario, a girl goes to college at the age of 18. By the time she graduates, goes for her post graduation and/ or works for 1-2 years, she will be about 23- 24. This means that she has spent about 5 years away from her home. In the 5 years period, she would meet many smart guys at college or during her first few years on job. So, in all probability it would be difficult to find a good girl older than 24 yrs. Secondly, in Indian families there is lot of pressure on the girl’s to get married by the time they become 24-25.
Statistics says that there is a generation gap after every 5 years. So, in such scenario, one would prefer to marry a girl who is about 3-4 years younger to you. Thus, working backwards, an ideal age for a guy to get married is by 28. Earlier the marriage, the better it is.
Well, as we all know,   in the current market scenario, there will never be stability in our career. So, I believe there is no such thing as, “I will marry when I settle down”.
Rule 2   –   Subset of Marriage-able Girls

At times you hear statements like, “I am not getting the right match, I will look after 3 months, I will find a better match then”. Well the truth is otherwise. The subset of unmarried girl looking for a match is fixed. >From this subset, there would be girls who would get married & there would be new girls added who would be looking for a match.   The net result is that at any given time, the variety & numbers of marriage-able girls are fixed.
Rule 3   –   Competition for Girls

Like all other facets of life,   there is lot of competition for good girls  . So, if you are looking for a girl who is post graduate, has done her Engg, is working, very beautiful, smart, from a good family etc. etc, just think again. There are other guys who are also looking for similar girls & probably they are better off than you in terms of career, looks personality etc. Given a choice every guy would like to marry Aishwarya Rai. So, set your expectations accordingly.
Rule 4   –   Understanding Girls

You would have met a lot of people during your life. As we all know, it’s difficult to judge a person based on a few meetings. I am sure you would agree with me that in case of girls it is even more difficult to understand them in a few meetings. I know people who are still trying to understand their wife. ..   Understanding your spouse is a life long assignment.  So, then how do you select a girl based on a few meeting? This is where you need to   take the help of your parents/friends & latest technologies like email/chat to choose your girl.

Rule 5   –   Society Expectation

The selection process is tough on every one who is involved in the process. In arranged marriage, involvement of family & society is pretty high. You can’t meet a girl 3-4 times & then say no to her. It is bad for her future. So,   you should have a good short-listing criterion. Meet only a few girls & be sure what you are looking for.  It is for the benefit of everyone involved.
Rule 6   –   Marriage Between Equals

Unlike love marriage, in arranged marriage you also marry into the girl’s family. In arranged marriages, family support plays a major role in ensuring a successful marriage. This is where   the compatibility of social status, family values & caste/religion plays a major role.  It’s important to note that in case there is a perfect match between the two families, the marriage is destined to succeed.
Rule 7   –   Know Yourself

Unlike love marriage, in arranged marriage you first marry a person & then fall in love. So, it’s very important that you do a self-assessment on the kind of person you would love. They say, “Opposite attract”, while they also say, “Bird of same feather flock together”. So, you take a call on what sort of person you like. Take a pen & paper; write down the kind of attributes you are looking for in a girl. Say, she should ideally have the looks of Sonia, the style of Monica, the voice of Sheena, the patience of Rashmi.   You will certainly not find the perfect girl  , but then you would have a good idea of what you are looking for. The secret here is to   set some minimum criteria for selection  . Don’t forget rule no.3 here.
Rule 8   –   Girl’s Beauty

A girl’s looks attract, but then no one wants to end up marrying a dumb. It is like buying your bike. When you initially buy it, you are crazy about the looks, but later on you love it for its reliability, fuel economy & comfort level. Similarly, a girl’s looks are important, but then it should not be the most important criteria.   Later on in life, you will get bored of her looks. It is then that her personality & behavior will make all the difference to your marriage  . I am sure your parents will be able to advice you a lot better on this topic .
Rule 9   –   Taking Advice

As I have mentioned in the next rule, it’s very important that the final decision on whom to marry must necessarily be yours. However,   don’t do the mistake of isolating yourself from the world while planning your marriage. Discuss with your parents & very close friends on this issue. They are your well wishers  . Secondly, in such important matters it’s necessary that you analyze all possibilities. Remember, I am not suggesting that you follow others’ advice, but don’t forget to take their advice.
Rule 10   –   Own Decision

All said & done, it’s your marriage & your life that is at stake. Once you are married, you & your wife are the only persons who will be facing the music. Don’t marry a girl just because your parents or friends asked you to do so. After marriage, if things don’t work out & you end up saying, “It’s because of my friends or my parents that I married you”, then your marriage is destined for disaster. If the girl is of your choice, it is you who will be responsible for whatever happens. That’s when the marriage works out perfectly. So,   ensure that you marry the girl of your choice.
How to approach the selection process?

>From the day, a person decides to get married; the selection process takes a minimum of 3 months. The whole process needs a lot of patience & commitment. The ideal steps to be followed are:

A. Definition Phase

Define the minimum criteria for the kind of life partner you are looking for in terms of education, physical appearance, social status, family values, future career plans. Remember the Rule 3 here.
B. Lead Generation Phase

Place ads in various newspapers, magazines, websites, through friends, family friends, family societies & association etc. You need to exhaust all possible means of getting bio-datas at one go. Remember the Rule 2 here.
C. Short Listing Phase

Based on your selection criteria, short-list the interesting bio-datas. The general process followed for correspondence is as follows:

1.  The initiator sends a one page profile of himself/herself.

2.  Based on the profile, the receiver sends his/her one page profile along with request for detailed profile, photo, and horoscope.

3.  The initiator then sends the requested information along with a request for similar information.

4.  The receiver sends similar information.

5.  If the bio-data is selected, it is passed over to the next phase.
D. Casual Interaction Phase

Based on short listing, about 7 to 10 bio-datas are taken forwarded to this phase. The next step to follow here is to exchange email/ chat ids. The guy & the girl then interact for 10 – 15 days to try & judge mutual compatibility through email/chat.
E. Family Interaction Phase

Based on the earlier phase, about 5 leads are taken for consideration in this phase. During this phase, the parents get involved & check the background information about the families to find mutual compatibility.
F. Dating Phase

Based on the earlier phase about 3 leads are taken forward to this phase. During this phase, the guy & the girl interact by going out alone for 2-3 times. The guy needs to prepare a set of simple questions like who is your favorite star, what are your hobbies? He needs to use his judgment to analyze the girl based on her responses.
G. The D-day Phase

Finally, the D-day comes when the guy has to select the girl he wants to spend his life with. If the process if followed systematically, there will be no ambiguity in deciding who should be your life partner.
Finally, my dear friends,   marriage is all about compromises.  In spite of all the planning that you do, there are a lot of uncertainties in a marriage. In fact this is the best part about marriage. Just remember that the person you marry must be of your choice. In such case, there would be no going back for both of you.
A few words of advice: To make your marriage a success; just believe in the age-old virtue  , “Never do anything to others that you don’t like for yourself “